A loved one passing is always an emotional affair, and when one has to facilitate the funeral service arrangements, it can easily overwhelm someone, especially if it’s the first time. While funeral directors and homes (such as Memorial Funeral) are equipped to assist in most of the process and logistics, it’s still wise to equip oneself with knowledge of the process. This helps to give one an overview of what to expect, and will better aid one in making decisions as well as prioritising along the way.
Here are the steps one should take to prepare for a funeral service when a loved one passes.
1. An overview of a buddhist funeral service
For Buddhists, a funeral wake is often held for the family to receive those who wish to pay their last respects to the departed, and this is usually held for a period of 3 to 5 days. This could take place at a home, a funeral parlour or more commonly, at a common public void deck.
During the service, the departed is often placed in a coffin along with an altar and objects from the faith. This often includes flowers as they lend an atmosphere of peace and serenity – something preferred in a Buddhist funeral setting.
One can send flowers in two ways: Either by presenting them personally in a smaller arrangement to be displayed, or delivered by a florist in a larger arrangement to be placed at the premise. The latter is the more common practice of the two.
2. The type of flowers and what they mean
When it comes to sending sympathy flowers to a Buddhist funeral, two colours are preferred over the rest: White and yellow.
White is the colour of mourning, but also represents purity and emancipation – something significant when considering the concept of reincarnation for the believers. Yellow is the colour of enlightenment, and is also in line with the theme of rebirth. Choosing from these two colours is your best way to express your respect and condolences at a Buddhist funeral service.
The one colour that should never be chosen is red. Seen as a colour for celebratory events, this would be deemed inappropriate at a Buddhist funeral wake. It doesn’t matter the type of flower or the shade, anything red is considered taboo. While other colours are allowed, it is not encouraged. And if one must choose from hues like blue or purple, it is best to choose softer shades and pastel tones for a more muted effect. Anything brightly-coloured will be considered too cheerful for the occasion.
When it comes to the type of flowers, chrysanthemums top the list. While usually seen as an energetic and positive flower in other colours, white chrysanthemums represent peace for the departed. Other popularly-seen flowers include lilies, carnations, marigolds and daisies – flowers easily found in shades of white and yellow – but even roses, snapdragons and even brassicas can be used as long as they adhere to the colour themes of white and yellow.
Lotuses are also welcomed as an important symbol of spirituality in Buddhism, but are more commonly given as a bouquet to be presented at the altar, rather than used in an actual wreath.
3. Display type
The most common way of presentation for sympathy flowers at a Buddhist funeral is as a wreath on a tall stand. This can be easily placed and lined up with others at the venue, and can help embed a tranquil atmosphere.
Other arrangements can also be found and there’s no real taboo here in the way that it is presented. Even LED-lit floral displays have made their way to the types of offerings out there. One can choose to have a purely floral display, or include a message of condolences or a sign such as “With deepest sympathy”, “So sorry for your loss”, or “In loving memory”.
Table arrangements are possible but bear in mind that space might be an issue at the venue when it comes to displaying the flowers.
4. Cremation or burial
Once the funeral service details are settled, the booking of cremation date and time is done by the funeral directors or funeral company.
For land burial, the only available option is Choa Chu Kang Cemetery Complex. Do note that this will be for a period of 15 years, after which the body will have to be reinterred or cremated.
Cremation is the more common choice in Singapore and one can choose from four locations: Choa Chu Kang Columbarium (government), Mandai Columbarium (government), Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery (private) and Tse Toh Aum Temple (private).
After the process, one can opt to have the ashes be kept at the columbarium in a niche and with a marble plaque, or be contained in an urn to be kept there or brought home.
In some cases, the loved ones might want to scatter the ashes. This can be done out at sea south of Pulau Semakau, whereby the Port Marine Safety Control Centre will need to be informed. Those choosing the latter can do so at the Garden of Peace – a designated facility at Choa Chu Kang Cemetery.
Other options
Other than flowers, one can always present their condolences in other ways. These usually include:
- Baijin (condolence money): Gifts of cash (preferably in odd amounts such as $30, $50 etc) to be placed in a white envelope or directly into the box at the wake.
- Donation: A donation amount of your choice to a charity under the departed’s name.
- Obituary: Placing an obituary is possible and is often recommended for companies in which the departed has worked at.
- Food and gift baskets: These tend to be informally presented to the family as a care package for them during their vigil.
Express your condolences with these information in mind and you’ll be able to show your heartfelt wishes to the family and loved ones at the Buddhist funeral service, and provide comfort and sympathy.
The right flowers can make your condolences felt. For any funeral matters, Memorial Funeral will be ready to assist.
